Dear Auntie,
Five years ago, I embarked on a journey.
I had the courage to face my inner child issue,
Yes, a lot of it had to do with you.
Dear Auntie,
I recall all your negativity.
The reason you disliked me I didn’t follow,
What was inside your heart? Why so hollow?
You laughed at me since I was four,
You criticized me as I walked through the door.
Or you saved your knife for later.
And stabbed me during our family dinner.
My nose, my legs, my skin,
As if I was not your own kin.
You would pick me apart like a vulture,
You forgot I was birthed by your sister.
Culture taught me to keep my mouth shut,
Religion told me to forgive this mean stuff.
My parents had no idea what to do,
Talking back never seemed to stop you.
Then one day you decided I was cool,
All because I graduated from a good school.
I became adorable and pretty,
Thank you, Chulalongkorn University!
You taught me love was conditional,
I was not worthy until I became an adult.
My mind told me I didn’t care about you,
My soul showed me that wasn’t true.
You scarred my sense of self,
You offered me hurt, instead of help.
I was just an innocent child,
You couldn’t be kind! That was wild!
It took me 40 years,
An ocean full of tears,
And a massive heap of courage,
To fix what you have damaged.
Thank you, Auntie, for being my childhood enemy,
I have healed and turned our story into poetry.
May you be blessed for the rest of your waking life!
I love you. May one day you see the light!
Writer’s Notes: I was going to post my old poems from 2018 regarding my recovery from verbal abuse. However, after reading them again, I found them to be too long and too detailed. I think they were meant for me alone. So, yesterday I wrote a new version of the old story. I don’t have degrees in child psychology. I am not a mother of three. However, as a human who was once a child, I can tell you the negative impact of verbal abuse is real. Especially, when the abuse started early at a young age, the pain and trauma stay inside the body and hide within the subconscious. Please be careful with your words and be kind with our children. They are our future.
